Returning Love: Revelations of Fatherhood

I LOVE being a dad. I honestly feel like I'm cheating a little bit because Jill is such a good mom. I've fully embraced the fact that I'm the Scottie Pippen to her MJ. I guess if I can just avoid becoming the Dennis Rodman of our family we'll be ok.

The idea behind this week's blog is to visit one of the many ways being A father has revealed THE Father to me. There's a difference between knowing God IS a father and knowing God AS a father. Growing up, I was much more prone to seeing God as healer, deliverer, and the many other titles ascribed to Him. When it came to "father" I understood it more than experienced it. I think that's common for a lot of people, especially those who grow up with an absent or abusive father in their life but for me it was the opposite. I have an AMAZING dad. He was present, encouraging, and wise, everything we all long to have in a dad. He demonstrated what a good father was for me and I never really thought any deeper about fatherhood than that relationship. So the revelation of God as my father came later in life when I became a dad myself.

God reveals His vast character throughout our entire lives. I love that for the rest of my life and the eternity that follows I will be learning about His nature and encountering Him in new ways. I can't even begin to write about ALL the ways being a dad has revealed God's fatherly nature to me, but I plan to share one from time to time. So this week I want to explore the idea of RETURNING LOVE.

THE WORD

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is."

- 1 John 3:1-2

When you're expecting a child you get a ton of unsolicited advice. If you think the pseudo-marriage counselors are overwhelming in the months leading up to your wedding, just wait until your wife's belly starts showing during a pregnancy. It's equivalent to wearing a billboard on your forehead that says, "PLEASE COME TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD, AND SCARE ME WHILE YOU'RE AT IT."

Obviously most people have good intentions when sharing parenting advice. I'm sure I'm just as guilty when it comes to telling first-time parents how little sleep they're going to get and how drastically their life will be altered. It's really not helpful though.

Once PK came into the world I felt like there was nothing that could surprise me, I had been warned about it all! But there was one thing no one had prepared me for. One thing that honestly I found most difficult about being a new dad. It was the lack of returning love. After Jill had carried this beautiful baby for nine months, I could not imagine the feeling of finally getting to hold and cradle her. There's a bond between moms and their children that we as men just have to honor and appreciate. But after nine months of baby-hogging, I felt pretty justified in saying it was "my turn!"

Holding a new born is frightening on so many levels and so is driving one in your car. I lived out all of the stereotypes of a newborn dad: driving slowly from the hospital, awkwardly trying to figure out how to hold her, and being super protective of anyone getting close to her. But what I wasn't expecting was how much my heart would swell for her and how little she would seem to care about me.

Now please understand, I'm aware newborns lack the cognitive ability to socialize. I wasn't disappointed in her. It had just never dawned on me that the bonding between my child and I would be completely one-way for the first several months. I would hug her, kiss her, cradle her, make goofy noises and the most I got in return was mouth drool, a nose bubble, or a menacingly long stare into the depths of my soul.

No one had prepared me for the reality that I was going to love someone so much who was not yet capable of loving me back. What a profound depiction of the gospel that was for me.

HE FIRST LOVED US

Romans 5 tells us God demonstrated His own love for us while we were yet sinners. We were not just brought into His family, we were BORN into His family. We came by way of redemption. All of humanity was created by God and for God. Love is not just what He does, it's who He is.

Love can only be defined in the context of relationship. It is something to be given, received, and displayed. God didn't need to create humanity to be love. The trinity demonstrates love beautifully. The Father loves the Son, loves the Spirit, loves the Father and that's the God we get to commune with.

But here's the bottom line: God loved us FIRST by demonstrating the ultimate sacrifice of giving Himself for us. And He did this knowing that many will reject Him. His love was purely one-way before it could ever be returned.

As a father, I didn't know I would want my kids to love me so much. No wonder God's first command is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength." I found that I had to love my kids long before they were capable of giving in love in return. They had to be taught to love through demonstration. There's nothing in the world like hearing their voices tell me they love me. I still may not be MJ but I'm on a winning team.

CONCLUSION

Take time to love God today. Yes, within your heart, but also in deed. Demonstrate your love for Him. He has lavished His love on us and called us His own. We could never return the favor but we can return the affection.