The One Question Every Believer Should Be Asking Themselves Regularly

Jill and I celebrated 10 years of marriage this year. As I looked back on that season of life ten years ago, planning the wedding, moving Jill into our home, beginning new jobs, I remember thinking that it was the most stressful season of our lives (we hadn’t had kids yet… we were so young and naive).

I often tell the story of how, at one of our wedding showers, we were gifted a very odd looking statue of Jesus by a precious older couple. Now, I'm pretty sure they had forgotten about our shower and had pulled this off of a shelf at the last minute (a shepherd's staff was missing from His hand after all). But nonetheless, we did our best acting and thanked them greatly for such a sweet gift. That's the awkward thing about wedding showers, not only do you get odd gifts, you have to open them while the givers stare at you. It gives me anxiety just thinking about it.

As it turns out, that Jesus statue became our most favorite thing. I surprised Jill one day by setting up a desk in one of the spare rooms for her. In the center of the desk I placed the Jesus statue, just a little gesture to say, "Here you go honey, this belongs to you." A few mornings later I woke up and laying on the pillow beside me was Jesus staring me in the face. Another morning Jill got in her car to go to work only to find Jesus buckled in the passenger seat beside her. This became a YEARS-long game in our home. One would hide the 10-inch tall statue for the other to find days, weeks, or sometimes even months later. Jill even strung it up inside my coat in the closet so I wouldn't find it until winter. This statue is actually how Jill told me she was pregnant with Davis. I came home one day and sitting on the night stand was Jesus holding a positive pregnancy test.

Now here's where a silly game takes a serious turn: Over the years I began to realize how this little game mimicked my relationship with the REAL Jesus. How there would be seasons of my life that were marked by His nearness and others marked by what seemed like distance. How, on many days, I was very much aware of Him and yet how I could easily go days completely unaware of Him. I recognized that my spiritual life had, in many ways, become defined by cycles, stuck in an endless game of hide and seek.

THE WORD

“I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lamp stand from its place.” Revelation 2:2-5

This week I'm inviting you to ask yourself a fairly uncomfortable question. But it's a question that I believe EVERY follower of Jesus should ask themselves regularly: Have I LOST my first love?

Here's the reality: Jesus is our first love. Perhaps not in succession, but in priority. In Revelation 2 Jesus is addressing the church in Ephesus, commending them for being strong in their work, consistent in not tolerating wickedness, and persevering while standing on the truth. I imagine they were the kind of church that had a great worship band and an efficient kids check-in system.

But their weakness far outweighed their strengths. They had forsaken their first love. They had become stuck in a cycle where, though they were still doing all the right things, they had forgotten the purpose behind the doing.

Did you know it’s possible to BE USED by God but not BELONG to God? Let me give you a few examples:

1. Samuel: As a boy, the Bible says he would minister before the Lord regularly (1 Sam. 3:1), yet when the Lord spoke to him he did not know His voice because he "did not yet know the Lord..." (1 Sam. 3:7). That means he spent his days ministering to a God he did not know.

2. Jonah: He ran from God in rebellion, got on a ship and endured a horrible storm. The crew of the ship throws him off (at his own request) and then proceeds to commit themselves fully to God! So, even in his rebellion, Jonah is still leading people to the Lord.

3. False Disciples: In Matthew 7 Jesus said there will be many people on the day of judgement who will say,"Did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?" yet the LORD will say "I never KNEW you."

It’s a stark reality that I've attempted to warn many young ministers about over the years:

You can be used mightily to do the work of the Lord and yet not allow Him to do a work in you.

So here in Revelation 2 Jesus, in His compassion, is warning the Ephesian Church not to be satisfied with just doing great things. Don't equate your work for God with your love for God. The work we do for Him may reflect our love but it's not a substitute for it.

CONCLUSION

I often think about the story in Luke 2 where Mary and Joseph go up to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival when Jesus was twelve years old. After spending several days in the noisy festivities, the whirlwind of celebrations, and feasts (think Christmas time) they decide to head back home in a caravan of friends and relatives. An entire DAY goes by before they realize Jesus is not with them. Their twelve-year-old boy has been left in the big city all alone (insert Home Alone joke here).

As humorous as the thought of losing God's son may be, I often wonder what it must have felt like when it dawned on Mary that she had lost the love of her life. How it must have felt when in the midst of all the chaos, the crowds, and the busyness of the moment she realized she no longer had Jesus in her midst. The one she had been entrusted with by God was gone...

But then it hits me; I don't have to wonder how she felt because I've felt it too. I've had the same gnawing sense at times in my life that I have begun to wander away from my FIRST love... my first priority.

Life has a way of testing our priorities, therefore we must have a way of assessing them. The Word calls for the believer to "work out your salvation with fear and trembling." While that verse calls for a blog all on its own, the essence of the instruction is to evaluate your walk with God continually. I'm not advocating for constantly questioning the salvation of your heart, but rather the priorities of your heart. Take stock of your life the way Jesus was calling the Church of Ephesus to take stock of their ministry. Look around. Do you see Jesus anywhere? If not, you owe it to yourself to search until you do.

*Next week I'll explore what the signs of forsaking your first love are and what it looks like to reclaim that love.