What do Black Widows and the Church Have in Common With Each Other?

The black widow spider is the kind of stuff nightmares are made out of. All black with a bright red warning tag, venom in their tiny fangs, and not to mention their gruesome mating habits. It's not uncommon for the widow to bite, wrap up, and then consume her male counterpart all before she proceeds to lay up to 750 eggs. For this reason the name "black widow" has also been assigned to women who kill their husbands by forensics and homicide experts. While men are more likely to commit murder outside of the home, women are more likely to do so inside the home, most often against their husband. History is rich with stories of black widows who have killed for money or revenge. But perhaps the most infamous bride who put her husband in a grave is the Church, whose sin beckoned Christ to the cross to give Himself up willingly for her. One thing is for sure, He is a better husband than we are a bride.

THE WORD

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her -Ephesians 5:24-25

This past Sunday I preached on Jesus The Faithful Husband. As we walk through the Christmas story, I pointed out the many ways Joseph's devotion to Mary reflects Christ's devotion to the Church. You can catch that message here if you wish. Now perhaps seeing Jesus as a husband is a bit of a foreign concept for some. Maybe it makes you a little uncomfortable. But the reality is, the entire Bible builds on one massive marriage metaphor that sees Jesus as the bridegroom and His Church as the bride.

As I reflected on Jesus' role as the faithful husband, I felt this week it would be beneficial to spend some time thinking about what it means for the Church to be the bride. Here's what came to mind:

3 MANDATES OF THE BRIDE (THE CHURCH)

1. PLEDGED

In Hebrew culture, when a couple was pledged to be married, the woman was at that moment legally married, though still living at home with her family. It was actually common for there to be two ceremonies, one for the betrothal and one for the wedding itself. That's very different from today where being engaged is essentially just a more serious level of dating. To be pledged meant that the only way out of the relationship from that point on was a form of divorce. This is why, in the Christmas story, Joseph considered divorcing Mary, despite only being betrothed at that point.

To be pledged to Jesus is to be committed to Him here and now, on this side of eternity before He has come back for His bride.

Growing up I did my fair share of dating. I didn't get into a ton of relationships but I had a couple of girlfriends through high school and college. But I was determined to never tell a girl the three million-dollar-words that we all know so well. Outside of some 2 day, 5th grade relationship, in all my years of dating I never told a girl I loved her, because to me that meant that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and that just wasn't a commitment I was willing to make in my younger years. So on the night that I told Jill I loved her, you would have thought we got engaged! I called my family and closest friends, everyone celebrated, it was a huge milestone - simply because everyone knew I was done with the dating game forever. I had found the one for me.

Jesus does not beckon us to enter into a relationship with Him haphazardly. As a matter of fact, in Luke 14 He admonishes the crowds to count the cost of following Him, comparing it to setting out to build a massive tower or entering into a war with another nation. High commitment means high cost. There is a great cost to being pledged to Jesus on this side of eternity, but it is nothing compared to the "bride-price" He paid with His life.

2. PREPARED

Every wedding I have ever had the privilege of being a part of has required me (as a groomsmen or officient) to show up a couple of hours before the ceremony. The girls on the otherhand, that is, the bride and her bridesmaids, generally show up at the crack of dawn. I think it takes less time to hike Mt. Kilimanjaro than it does for a bride to get ready. I actually just looked it up and the fastest time was under five hours so... I was right.

What I'm getting at is that brides take a lot of time to prepare for their special day. When I think about all the planning and decisions we had to make for our wedding, it's more than enough motivation for me to make this marriage work! How do people get married multiple times??

Anyways, in Hebrew culture, while the woman worked on the ceremony, it was typical for the man to go off and work on building a home for them to live in and start a life together. In many cases this could perhaps mean he was gone for up to a year, and she wouldn't know the exact day of his return.

In Matthew 25 Jesus tells a parable about ten virgins who are waiting for their bridegroom to return to marry them. It is their duty to be ready for when he comes by having their lamps burning bright. Five of them keep the oil full and remain in a prepared state while the other five decide to slack off. When the groom eventually does return, the lazy five beg the responsible five to share their oil, but it's too late. They were caught unprepared.

Let's be clear, the tragedy isn't that they weren't ready, it's that they didn't care enough to stay ready. What kind of bride doesn't look forward to her wedding day? Only the one who doesn't want to go through with it. The Church has a beckoning call to burn brightly in this hour. We can't afford to let our oil run dry, Jesus is on His way!

3. PRESENTED

Do you remember having to do presentations in school? Those were the worst days of my life. I was the most awkward and shy kid growing up, so naturally I dreaded getting up in front of people to present a project. It's amazing to me that speaking on a stage every week is now a part of my job - how did that happen?

Presentation is all about allure and amazement. It's about catching the eye and keeping the ear. I think this is where we get most confused in the marriage metaphor of Jesus and His Church. We routinely fall for the misconception that we're supposed to put on a good show for Jesus and look the part so that He will want to keep us. It's not uncommon for women to feel the weight and pressure of keeping the attention of their husbands. But I've found that it's my responsibility to give my wife the attention she deserves more than it is her responsibility to earn it or ask for it.

Church-bashing has become all-to-common place from the pulpit. We pretty easily find a lot to criticize the Church about. But at the end of the day, the Church is a glorious and radiant bride. Ephesians 5 tells us that Christ "loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."

Did you catch that? He's the one doing the presenting... to HIMSELF! We can all take a big sigh of relief when we realize God takes it upon Himself to make us the bride He has called us to be. And make no mistake about it, He will have His bride. And she will be holy, radiant, blameless, and without blemish, wrinkle, or stain.

CONCLUSION

I love church-merch. I love to see people repping their churches and being proud of the local body that they belong to. But more than being a member of a church community, you and I are members of the bride. That's something to celebrate in high fashion.